Comments for Art of Persuasion

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Comment on Paper 2 – Draft 1 by Katie B.

Katie B. — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:56:53 +0000

Ian-
Good opening! I knew exactly what to look for in your imitation piece. And about your imitation piece I am glad you didnt do the piece on love it seems like everyone is doing that. I can understand what you mean when you used the blue ford focus. I agree with the last sentence of your paper. Good Job!!!
Katie B.

Comment on Paper 2 – Draft 1 by Brianna

Brianna — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 14:12:56 +0000

Ian,

In your first section, you define “voice” as style and then you go on to say that a writer’s credibility is found in his style. Good definition, although you may be writing two topics into one paper.

I do think that you’ve managed to effectively imitate Frankfurt’s passage in section II. Good job.

In the last section, you decide that “voice” must be more than just “style.” Can you delve a little deeper into that?

My main suggestion to you is to simplify and clarify section 1 and go more in-depth with section 3.

Good job on this draft.

~Brianna

Comment on Paper 2 – Draft 1 by Richard Melick

Richard Melick — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:38:56 +0000

Ian;
Your paper is full of great information and I think you got everything you wanted to say on paper. I enjoyed your use of your voice in this paper, but at the same time you keep it very clean and orderly. One this specifically is the transition between the imitations and your voice. I did get a little lost there. If you define this a little more clear, you will have an even more amazing piece. You final paragraph was clear and organized, but I felt as if you wanted to write more at the end of it all. Overall, a great essay though.

Richard